The flu season is here and it has taken me out.  I think there are a few reasons why I caught it after not being sick for almost 10 years.  Getting sick has been humbling and reminds be of my humanity.  We are not immune to everything.  There are two simple reasons why I think I got sick.  I took a lot of antibiotics for the first time in about 10 years to get rid of parasites from overseas travels.  I took Albendozole for round worms and Flagyl for blastocystis hominis.  One route of therapy for the parasites that I didn’t try but wish I did was a strong herbal treatment.  If for any reason I get parasites again, I really hope I don’t, then I’ll try the herbal route.  I didn’t have any symptoms of parasites and I have a feeling they were living off me for years back when I was in Ecuador 5 years ago.  I’m honestly not sure.  3 years ago, I also went on a cruise around the world and it’s possible I was exposed then.  To be honest, I really think it was from Ecuador.  We lived in a very cheap Ecuadorian style house and drank from the tap and used a Steri Pen to sterilize the water.  I was tested for parasites back then and it said I was positive for them.  I ate some papaya seed blend and another seven anti-parasite seed blend and thought the problem was over and didn’t follow up since I had no symptoms.  

Another reason why I think I got sick was simply being exposed to the virus after a lowered immune system from all the antibiotics.  I’ve been going back and forth to the hospital for my mom regularly since she moved in back in January.  She was just recently there for 3 days for a kidney stone surgery.  There was a guy right next to her that was really sick and highly contagious.  They ended up moving him to a different ward the next day.  Anyway, shortly after seeing my mom at the hospital, my son got sick, then my daughter, me and my ex-husband.  We were sick for a long time too it seems.  It was definitely longer than 10 days.  My symptoms started with a really bad fever that seemed to last about 4+ days.  I was sweating through my shirts at night.  It was awful.  After that I was achy, lethargic and I had a really bad cough.  There was constant post nasal drip running down the back of my throat.  I was blowing my nose quite often and coughing up phlegm.  I would sit out in the sun, sleep extra, make green juices, eat fruit but it wasn’t letting up.  I simply had to ride it out.  I’m on the tail end of the flu now but it’s still lingering.

I went outside to meditate in the sun.  I love my meditation practice and only wish I could be more consistent.  The warm sun on my skin does feel healing.  I had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt so I pulled up my sleeves and shirt a little to get sun on my stomach.  There is something so liberating about being outside in nature.  I could hear the birds chirping, the sun feels warm and I love the silence.  I crave the quiet actually.  I just had the sidewalks pressure washed and they look amazing, like brand new concrete.  I have to admit that I’m really impressed.  I’ve been doing things to fix up my house so that we all can enjoy it.  I am usually the last person to spend money on myself but I feel like having a pleasant house is important for happiness.  

I read this book, the life-changing magic of tidying up and it’s been amazing.  I like the orderliness.  I like the neat.  At first it was hard to let go of so many things because I was emotionally attached to them because they were my dad’s.  Letting go feels like a re-birth.  I still have a lot further to go on the house and de-cluttering but everyday, I chip away.  As I’m getting things organized, I feel my time freeing up so I can get back to my purpose whatever that may be.  Right now, it has been writing.  I decided not to move because my mom has been sick and stay in the house and make it nice.  My mom moved in after my dad went into a home and her health is poor too.  She moved her whole house from The Villages into my house and my house turned into clutter.  I thought I would want to keep so much more than I do.  Letting go has been creating a lightness in my life where before it felt heavy.  

Dealing with my parents illness has been hard on me.  There are times when I think I can be so strong and other times where I just feel a tremendous amount of sadness.  My dad is never coming home.  My mom is making poor food choices everyday and I have to let go and let her live her life.  An example is that she was at the hospital getting the kidney stone surgery and her recovery drink was ginger ale.  All the soda pop is a contributing cause to kidney stones in the first place, ugh.  She thinks she’ll die in comfort but all I see is her suffering in a lot of pain everyday.  It’s an addiction and I have to let go.  It’s just hard because I love my parents, and I think of how happy things could have been.  They have a great pension and can live very comfortably the rest of their lives but instead they are sick.  Anyway, somehow cleaning my house is like cleaning my mind and letting go of what will no longer be the same.  

Since I’ve been sick with the flu, I’ve taken a lot of days off of working out to rest and recover.  This sedentariness has also affected my mood.  I honestly can’t wait until I’m feeling better and when I can start really working out again without a scratchy phlegmy cough anymore.  It feels good to write again.  Much love to you all!