Wow, I love this Chakra! It resonates with me so much as it was one of the chakras that I needed deep healing. The color of the root chakra is red. It is located at the base of the spine near the coccyx. It is energetically connected to the spinal column, rectum, legs, bones, feet, and immune system. The first chakra is the foundation of emotional and mental health. The first chakra is our base for logic, order and structure. The root chakra is connected to the feminine spirit of the earth known as Gaia. Fear of physical survival, abandonment by the group and loss of physical order start in the root chakra. It’s strengths are tribal identity, bonding and the tribal honor code; the support and loyalty that gives one a sense of safety and connection to the physical world. The sacred truth of the root chakra is All Is One.
My roots were completely ripped up out of the ground and I was lost not knowing what to build upon as my foundation wasn’t there. It started with a big move. My ex-husband got really sick with Lyme Disease. It efforts to restore his health we moved to Vilcabamba Ecuador, a low cost of living, healthy vegan community for him to rest. We were in the hustle and bustle of life and grew his dog training business to be a successful enterprise. I was a voice-over and commercial actress in the city and that was doing well too. The down side of all this success is that we were working all the time. With an animal business, it is very difficult to get downtime as they need care 24 hours a day. And to top it off, we were newly weds with a newborn baby. I was scared that his lyme disease could become life threatening. He dropped to 150 lbs at 6’3″. We sold everything we owned including the business and moved to Ecuador to restore his health which he did. I had some much needed downtime to be a mommy and he got to rest a lot and be surrounded with a like minded community.
When he was feeling better we decided to move back to the US. We chose to come to Florida because my parents were here and they were on a cruise for a few months and we could stay at their house while we looked for a place to live. I wanted help with the baby just in case anything happened to him. I knew I needed at least one other person to help me. My relationship with my parents was strained. My mother was jealous that I went wedding dress shopping one day with her and one day with my mother in law and I chose the dress with my mother in law. It was cheaper and a better dress, it wasn’t personal. It kicked off our marriage with a lot of resentment as she sent vicious emails to all my in-laws calling it a Hager dictator take over wedding, calling my father in law a drunk simply for taking a silly picture with my with our tongues to the side and telling my mother in law that she stole a mother’s right because of the dress. It got nasty. I was horrified. I felt alone on my special day. Everyone acted cordial the day of the wedding but the awkward tension was there between me and my new husband further rocking my new roots.
When we moved back to Florida we attempted to repair a broken relationship with my parents. After all they were my family and there was a lot of good that happened too. I was pregnant with my second child right when we moved back to Florida. I always wanted babies ever since I was a little girl and I always wanted to share this with my mother. I never imagined all this fighting would happen. My ex-husband didn’t like my parents, for obvious reasons. My mother looked at him like a blue collar worker and he was beneath me because he wasn’t a doctor or lawyer. It made it almost impossible to get everyone to get along. My son had an accident and cracked his head and my mother called the police and DCFS on me only to complicate things further. There is a long history of family disfunction with the family that I grew up with. The fighting with my parents caused tension with my four brothers and they had their own issues with my parents. At this time my ex and I divorced. I had 2 babies, a 2 year old, a 4 year old. I moved to a new city where I knew no one. I had to start my career over as I was running my ex-husbands dog business with him for 10 years and my parents get fatally sick at only 68 with Alzheimer’s disease for my dad and Parkinson’s with my mom. I had a boyfriend in the middle of all of this and everything fell apart. Oh my god, what am I going to do? I had anxiety and panic in me like I’ve never had before. I had to re-invent myself. I had to start over as my roots were completely ripped out of the ground. I was a single mom of 2, no career, no friends and no family in a new town. I was thinking “Thank you God”. How much can a person take.
Somehow I walked into One Yoga & Fitness in Clermont, Florida at the height of my personal crisis. I went through the 200 hour yoga teacher training and one month before I graduated the studio owners split up. My ex-husband was invited to teach dog yoga at the other studio and my ex-boyfriend was asked to help out with the build out of the other studio. What do I do? There was some shuffling as I had to decide, who was my tribe? I tried out the other studio and after two months I was back at One Yoga & Fitness with Gina Keefe. Gina & I cried together over the split and I opened my heart to her as I was at a complete loss in my life. She scooped me up like I was her broken baby bird that she had to protect. She emotionally grounded me as she showered me with her love, support and kindness. She never judged me and she started to mentor me one step at a time. She was like another mother for me. She helped me re-build a career, step by tearful step. My other teacher Shelly and Gina helped me mend my relationships with my family and I had to learn about the humbling power of forgiveness. No matter what happened to me with my family or ex-husband, I still loved them. I was hurting. I needed to soften and change. I had to learn that my mother’s attacks are really her unhealed wounds and not really her. It was simply a fearful aspect of her personality. I changed the way that I reacted to her to have much more compassion and we were able to mend our relationship. I needed that so bad because I wanted them to know how much I did love them, especially now that they were so sick. I also had to find forgiveness with my ex-husband. He loves my children as much as I do. My ex-husband was simply tired of being picked on and I had to learn to respect his boundaries. We are the parents of two of the most beautiful people that I have ever met in my life, my children. I want them to grow up with love.
Now, I am on my own, alone but somehow I have strength because I took the time to heal my broken root chakra. I am actively building my new business, re-modeling my broken house, mending relationships and creating new friends who are becoming my new family as the one that I had is changing. Never give up hope if you feel like you have been up-rooted. So much beauty comes out of the mess if you lift up your head and move forward. All I can say is that it really helped me that Gina held my hand the whole way through. I have so much love for this studio and as Gina once said, “Yoga changed my life”. For me it really did. Much Love & Light to you all. I love you!