My dad was admitted into Mease Countryside Hospital in Safety Harbor, Florida Thursday afternoon May 30th, 2019. After my visit to his Assisted Care Facility I was concerned for his health. He looked terrible and it was obvious that he was in bad shape and needed help. I spoke with his care giver about all the medications that he was taking and requested that they reduce or eliminate the long list of medications that he was on. Some of the drugs are so strong that they have to wean him. They took my request and said they would talk with the owner who was clearly the one making all the decisions, not a doctor. I spoke with a nurse about it and I left a message for the psychiatrist on site. I then proceeded to interview Assisted Care Facilities in Clermont by my house. I knew he had to be moved or he was going to die in this home. I told one of the caregivers that if they don’t reduce his medications then they were going to kill him and it would be like murder. I said if anything happens to him then it’ll be on everyone’s shoulders at that home who could have done something about it but won’t. I might have been too hard on them but I was really scared for his life. They told me they were worried about his aggression but he could barely move so I knew this wasn’t the case anymore. Assisted Care Facilities in Clermont started to call the home he was at in Safety Harbor and interview the care givers about moving him. Thursday afternoon the caregiver called 911 and my dad was admitted to the hospital. I called and asked her why and what was going on. She replied that he wasn’t behaving his normal self lately. In my opinion, this was his care facilities opportunity to cover their ass for over-medication and it is how they evicted him from the home. They said he is not allowed back because he is not fit for their facility.
At the hospital, they confirmed that he was being over medicated and started reducing his medication. I was upset and relieved at the same time. I was upset that he was on too many medications but also relieved that my instincts about the condition of his health was correct. There was a social worker on the case and they were working with the homes in Clermont to help get him moved once he leaves the hospital. He is doing better but they suspect that he might of had a mini-stroke. He is currently in the cardiology section getting his heart tested because they suspect that he might have a heart attack. He is still on medication for Alzheimer’s and I asked my mom if she could request that he goes off of it. He is not going to recover from Alzheimer’s and I fear that the extra medication for it will be too hard on his system. In my opinion, less is better. She will talk to the doctor’s about it. He had his hands behind his head watching tv with headphones on and got some rest. I’m happy his health plan is being reviewed so he gets the best care. He will be at the hospital a few days.
My mom drove 2 hours to the hospital to see him and I’m waiting until he gets discharged to go out there because of my kids and of course, right as all this is going on, my house is getting remodeled. It’s all tore up. I’m in my master bedroom as the living room and whole front room under construction with new tiles being put in. I’m excited about the house but I’m also freaking out a little because my mom wants to bring him back here. I keep telling her that he needs to go into another home because he can’t live in a construction site and he needs more help that I can give him alone. I hope she listens to me. Honestly, she never listens to me but I really hope that this time she will listen to me. Maybe as she sees him in the hospital she will see how much help he needs. I know 2 men had to help him get up and down just to use the bathroom. He’s losing his mobility. Home health is a fortune plus it’s not always 24 hours and that’s what he needs. The hospital said that last night he was very restless. His constant movement happened all through the night. Once he is standing then he will shuffle around everywhere. His incontinence makes it difficult. At the home he was peeing in the potted plants. He will pee in a corner because he is confused. Changing a grown man’s diapers can be tricky because of his size.
As I meditate, I think about all this. I go over everything that has happened and evaluate my decisions. I hope that I am doing the right thing for him. He deserves to be close to my mom if he is going to pass. They should be together. They spent 47 years together. He also deserves to be treated in the highest regard. He is a fallen genius, father, angle, husband and prince. He has done so much for me in my life. He has taken the family on vacations every year. He coached tons of sporting teams. He cooked, cleaned, did laundry, fixed the whole house and was a great listener. He might of made mistakes in his life but so have I and so has everyone else. I love him and forgive him for anything he has done. He also gets scared and frustrated and needs more love. I want to be there for him. I hope he makes it back here ok and that my mom puts him into a home where we can monitor everything that is happening. I will make regular visits to check on him. The people at all the homes that I visited were super nice.
Peace my friends and thanks for listening. Writing this blog helps me get all these thoughts off my mind so that I can process them and come into the present moment. As I worry about the future for my dad, I think about how right now is the moment and how can I enjoy this moment to the fullest. I am aware that I need to let my worry go in order to be present. With my dad, I have to trust that the hospitals are taking good care of him. I also have to surrender to the fact that eventually my dad will die. I simply have to make clear sound decisions about his care. My mother needs help because there are lots of decisions that need to be made. It is overwhelming for one person to do it alone. Especially when it’s someone they love so much. She could be emotionally distraught over the situation. I’m stepping up to the plate, speaking my mind and trying to do the best for my dad. What are your thoughts about everything? Do you have any experiences like this? I’d love to hear from you. Even if I don’t respond, I read them all and it helps me tremendously. I love you all. Peace.