What is MGTOW? 

Hello Everyone, I had someone mention MGTOW to me and I was like what the heck is that?  It means Men Going Their Own Way.  It seems to be in response to the feminist movement of Me Too.  Men going their own way is essentially men deciding not to get married and risking their finances on a woman.  Some of these men are abstaining from women all together and some men are opting for an escort for companionship verses a wife or girlfriend.  They feel like the legal system is set up for them to fail and in not in favor of men.  From the videos that I see and from what I’ve heard, men don’t want to get “financially fucked” after a divorce and have to pay child support and alimony forever.  They feel like the feminist movement to protect women has gone overboard.  Men are afraid to advance with a woman in fear of a woman shouting, Me Too.  They are also afraid to shower women with gifts, dinners and spending money because they don’t want to get used.  They are standing up and saying that they have value too.

 

MGTOW verses ME TOO

Wow!  This is all I have to say.  As I hear about Me Too and MGTOW, I can objectively see both sides.  Yes, women have been exploited in the workplace, home and social circles.  It happens all the time and yes I can say Me Too.  What needs to happen to change this so that people can still get together respectfully?  How can women voice their boundaries better?  This makes me sad for both of these two situations because I see females alone and I see men alone.  Both sides are afraid to get together.  It has been said that both of these movements create a victim mindset instead of taking responsibility.  For me luckily I was able to work things out with my children’s father where we share custody and all finances for the kids.  We didn’t do it through the court.  We did it through mutual respect, communication and kindness for each other.  

 

MGTOW from a Single Mom’s Perspective

When I first heard about MGTOW, being a single mom, I was appalled.  I couldn’t even look at the videos or hear about the subject.  I felt angry.  I felt angry because I never asked for anything from my ex-husband.  The complaints that men were saying weren’t anything that I experienced in my personal situation.  After a woman gets pregnant, they are in a very vulnerable situation.  The baby demands so much from the mom and the mom’s need help.  I personally know single mom’s where the dad hasn’t helped in the child’s life by spending time or money.  I think this creates a wound in society because it impacts the woman and the children.  I can look on single mom boards and I see tons of single moms raising children alone.  They are lonely, sad and have given up on men.  It is incredibly difficult for these women and the children suffer too.  I also know of situations where men have to pay alimony until the woman has moved on with another spouse.  How long can that be?  Indefinite.  Many men don’t want to deal with the responsibility of being a parent.  They are afraid of having to pay child support for a long time.  There are more single mom’s out there than ever before and men are now abstaining from some women, fighting back with the MGTOW movement.  How can we do better than this?  We can pretend that we don’t need each other and live our lives alone but what would be better is if there was some kind of compromise where both sides feel safe and secure.   

 

Beauty, Fear & Separation

Women can fear that a man is going to leave them for a younger more beautiful woman when they age.  Beauty seems to be a woman’s currency.  For men, it seems to be security more than looks.  Either way, these are both needy ways to date.  Beauty can fade at any time and security from a guy can also change at anytime.  How are you prepared to take care of yourself?  How can we date for the pure enjoyment of someone else’s companionship verses what we can get out of the situation?  Love should be fun and joyful and it saddens me to see so much fear and separation out there.  Have women taken things too far with how much they are asking from a man after a divorce?  I am willing to say yes, I’m sure some women have (not all) and that has created a ripple effect of discontent among the male population.  

 

Alone Time & Self Development

I think people benefit from taking some alone time to develop themselves.  This doesn’t have to last forever but not many people do self work.  Self work helps you to create a more confident more secure person.  When you know and like yourself better then you are able to make better decisions about who is a good match for you.  Many times people date to cover up a wound or some pain that they are feeling and they are not getting together for the right reasons.  When we take the time to do self work, to evolve our souls, to take care of our minds and bodies then we can come into a relationship and create synergy verses one side needing something from the other side.  Instead we can co-create and develop a beautiful life together. 

 

Men Avoiding Women

If you are a single woman and wonder where are all the men, well, some are abstaining.  They are afraid to approach someone in fear that someone will shout, Me too.  What are your thoughts on this topic?  Have you heard of it before?  I’m curious to hear from you on how this situation can be changed to bring people together verses the separation that it is causing.  After all, life is better when we live it together with love.  Much peace, love and light my beauties!