Do you ever feel like you need to dim your light because when you shine then other people feel less? I’ve felt this way many times in my life and I’ve found myself sabotaging myself to be more in alignment with the group, not wanting to stand out. I don’t want to make anyone feel less. As an extrovert this has been my challenge as I’ve had this deep need for acceptance by the group. I didn’t even realize this until my friend pointed it out and then it hit me. Why are we afraid to shine our light? And if other people shine their light then why do we think our own light isn’t as bright? Why are we afraid to step away from the group? I’ve watched a Tony Robbins video on leadership and one thing that he says is that the world could use more leaders. There isn’t enough. Maybe all of these feelings that I have are really my own thoughts and insecurities as I experience my fear to step up and be a leader. I feel embarrassed, like who do I think I am?
I experienced that there was no leader in my family when my parents got sick. It felt like out of all five kids we were avoiding coming together to help my parents. We were all in a way hoping that someone else would do it. I realized that I was doing this because I was mad at my mother at the time. I was also guilty. My parents could be difficult. There was a lot of disfunction in my family growing up but they are still our parents and they needed help. There were a lot of good memories too. When we are hurting it’s easy to see only the bad and not all the good. I had to step back and look at the whole their lifetime of what they have done for me. Overall there was way more good than bad. I wouldn’t be the person that I am today if it wasn’t for them. A lot of my strength comes from both of them. I get my physical strength from my father and my internal strength from my mother. I made a conscious choice to forgive my parents because staying angry with them was hurting me. I still love them very much and time was running out. I decided to step up and help as much as I could. I decided to reach out to my brothers to express love and kindness. I offered an open invitation to visit whenever they wanted as my mom now lives with me. The process of stepping up to be a leader to care for my sick parents has been incredibly healing.
I think of other opportunities for me to lead in my life. Sometimes I think I’m not good enough. Self sabotage has been a common theme for me. I also see this in others because I saw it in myself. There are a lot of incredibly talented people afraid to shine their light and step into leadership. I see this in others because I saw it in myself. I would like to offer others permission to shine their lights as brightly as they can. For me, I want to shine my light on my yoga practice. I want to take it as far as my body will take me without getting hurt and I don’t want to feel bad about taking the next steps. Yes as we grow we might make mistakes but that’s also how we learn and advance. We can’t be afraid to make mistakes.
I have heard comments from others like, “why would you want to do that, no-one else can do it?”, “do you want to be like Dylan Werner (a powerful yogi)” and “her class is too this or that.” My first instinct to these comments is to dim my light and back off of my ambition. And then I think, I want to do these poses for myself because it feeds my soul. It feeds my soul because it’s the next step for my growth in my practice and I don’t want to stop growing. You never know who else might want to follow and learn. I personally would love an advanced yogi teacher locally so that I can learn more and more advanced moves. Yes, I do idolize Dylan Werner’s work. He’s fucking amazing and if I can do even a little bit of the advanced yoga that he does then absolutely I want to touch that edge. I want to go for it. I want to unapologetically shine my light as bright as I can.
I want to keep learning and growing simply because that is my next step. Somehow in the process, I hope this offers others permission to shine with whatever gifts they have. We are all different and all have different gifts so let’s stop comparing. I would like to see people come together and support each other’s light. Let’s lift each other up! Imagine the synergy that we can have when we co-create with our different skills together. My yoga teacher reminded me of the power of co-creation. I honestly haven’t had it very much co-creation in my life. I think of ways to add this into my life.
What is your gift and how can you shine? I’ve heard that “comparison is the thief of joy”. I actively make a choice not to compare myself to others and support them. I am human and fear and doubt slips in from time to time. I have to make a conscious effort to step into a higher vibration when this happens. This is an act of service to support others growth and light. I personally give you permission to shine as bright as you can. Grow as much as you can. Be the best that you can. Be a leader. If you are already a leader at work then what other areas of your life can you cultivate? Push yourself because I believe that we are capable of much more than we give ourselves credit for. What is your next step for growth? How can you support others growth as an act of service? Shine bright like a diamond beautiful people and then spread that light. Don’t let anything dim it. Don’t be afraid to step outside of the group. Find your gifts. I love you, besos!