I Hello Beautiful People,
My emotions have been creeping up on me lately. There is so much going on. I'm taking care of aging parents, raising 2 young children, growing a business and letting go of a relationship. Today I watch my ex-husband pack up his car with my children's bags as he goes on a vacation with my kids and his girlfriend. I wrestle with how I feel about this. I feel hurt but I am also ready to let it go so I can move on. As I meditate I think about relaxing and saying positive affirmations. I repeat, let it go. Michael Singer the author of the Untethered Soul talks about letting it go and that is where this affirmation comes from. As I sit in silence I imagine wiping my slate clean. I imagine letting go of any negative feelings and I invite God to offer the right situation for me. I trust that I am in the best situation for myself right now and I am enjoying the free time to do more self study and work on my business. I offer gratitude for all that I do have. I have amazing friends whom I love dearly. My relationship with my mom is great. It is stressful to deal with her illness but she helps as much as she can and I'm happy to spend more time with her. I really love my work with yoga and my clients. I feel like I am helping others and serving. It feels great to watch people grow. The self study that I've been doing has been very fulfilling and my life is enriched because of it. Overall, I'm very blessed.
I sit in my pool house to meditate in silence and I can feel the tension in my body. I focus on releasing any tension in my muscles and in my face. I elongate my breath and relax. Just because you enlighten yourself a little doesn't mean that life stops it's challenges. These challenging times are the times for our biggest growth. Michael Singer says "Disappointment is a wonderful opportunity for spiritual growth. It is a spotlight shining that is shining on your stuff. The question becomes, are you willing to let it go? Or are you willing to let it take you with it and make a mess out of your life?" I think about what this spotlight is saying about my stuff. What choices do I need to make in my life to feel my best? I don't want to just feel better, I want to be thriving. I already feel happiness so I simply need to stay strong when challenges come up. It's like hitting a speed bump in the road reminding us to slow down and relax. It's also a reminder for me to believe in myself. I also want you all to believe in yourself too. If I can do this then so can you. A lot of our suffering is in our head. Consciously choose positive choices. If you have to, fake a smile on your face. Fake feeling happy and you will see that you really do start to feel happy. That statement, Fake it until you Make it, really works.
I noticed this attitude change worked for me the other night. My daughter did her first play and she was a clown. She put on her clown makeup herself and I did my son's. My son wasn't in the play but wanted makeup just for fun:) . We were early and my son and daughter wanted to go swimming. I washed off the makeup and then let them swim. When my daughter got out of the pool she was crying about her eyes hurting her. She swims almost everyday and her eyes might irritate her but it doesn't stop her from doing things so I knew something else was wrong. I squirt saline in her eyes to sooth them. I take her to the school for her play and help her get dressed. We had about 10 minutes before the play was going to start for me to re-do her makeup. The poor thing had major stage fright. I talked to her to calm her down and got her to dry her tears. She cheered up with she saw her friend Sophia. We got her makeup done and she went back stage to start her play just on time. She is in kindergarten so she is young to be talking on stage at 6 years old. She had 3 lines and she said them all! Wow, I was thinking, so happy for her. She did a clown joke where 3 clowns bump into each other and fall down. She did great! I give her flowers to celebrate and I take them to the waterfront park to celebrate. My son and daughter scooter down the bike path from the waterfront park to a restaurant on the lake called Lily's. By the time I got there I was pretty stressed out from the evening. I got them their food and then checked my phone. The next thing I knew my kids were at the lake picking snail shells and clam shells. My daughter found glass all over the beach and was showing an older woman who was swinging on a swing with her husband. She was oo'ing and ahhh'ing at all my daughter's findings. My daughter's energy was ecstatic with this woman. It turns out that this woman was a retired professional clown for 15 years and is excellent with children. We told her about my daughter's play and she told my daughter about her clowning. She told my daughter she was saving everyone's toes by finding all that glass. She called her the glass princess and said, "wow, so how do you find the glass? Do you just see it sparkle?" My daughter then took a lot of time to explain. What are the odds of bumping into a professional clown when your kid was just a clown in a play in the same night? I energetically shifted my own energy to match the excitement of the clowns and watched how my daughter became excited and happy. When we scootered home, my daughter was happy and singing, "you are a good mother, oh oh oh, you are a good mother , oh oh oh" and she wanted to hold my hand. Honestly I was struggling with my daughter before the clown. After meeting her and seeing how her energy helped my daughter's energy shift, I made a conscious choice to lift my energy as well. I was stressed out from the stage fright situation to be honest. I was able to witness how making a conscious choice to find joy in the new situation and let the old situation go helped everyone. That professional clown was a conscious reminder that I have a choice to be happy if I want it. All I have to do is when life hits you with challenges to simply let it go. I think about the movie Frozen and the song "Let it go". My daughter loved that movie. I pick up my guitar to learn a new song and I choose to sing Rise Up by Andra Day instead of It Hurts to be Human by Pink. Now relax, breathe and play. Everything is going to be alright. Peace, my friends.