I hate ants in the house!!!!! I don't normally have any issues with ants since I don't eat very much dried carbohydrates or junk food such as candy. I don't eat meat, dairy, eggs or butter. I'm mostly eating fruits, vegetables, nuts, seeds and cooked whole food plant based meals. I eat clean! I like my house clean! And I have ants! Waaaaaahhh! So what has changed?
Grandma has moved in! I love this woman to death but we eat completely the opposite and let's just say she likes a lot of soda, chocolate, toast, chips, crackers, cookies, brownies, cupcakes, candy, junk food, meats, cheeses, dairy, etc. Basically all the things I avoid because I read about Natural Hygiene and I've been completely fascinated with keeping your internal body clean to avoid disease too. Before I learned about Natural Hygiene, I suffered from chronic eczema, sinusitis and I was sick at least a few times a year. I almost never get any of this anymore after cleaning up my diet. I say that because I've recently gotten sick because I took antibiotics for the first time in 10 years to kill parasites and my immune system has not been its normal self. Aside from this recent flu, I haven't been sick, I haven't had a sinus infection and I haven't had eczema in 10 years. I feel amazing with lots of energy. I can't promote reading 80/10/10 Diet by Dr Douglas Graham enough. This is a short version of the food portion of Natural Hygiene and an easy read. It has changed my life and I've since gone on to take a full 2000 page Natural Hygiene course with Dr Robert Sniadach, transformationinstitute.org. I can't say enough good things about Robert. He has been my friend and one of my mentors for years.
I can go on about Natural Hygiene but I would like to focus on these pesky ants. I've watched my mom clean counter tops, wipe down cabinets, wash floors. She has made a valiant effort to help with the problem. Bottom line, if you have bugs in your house then your house is dirty and my house needed a deep cleaning. I moved the refrigerator back and I find spilled coke on the floor that takes a long time to clean. I don't drink coke, and haven't for years. Then I move the stove back and I find about 100 dead ants and potato chips, ahhhhh! My mom obviously used ant killer. I clean the whole stove and behind it. Then I vacuum the whole house, including her bedroom which also has ants. I see potato chip crumbs everywhere. I then move her lazy boy chair and I find chocolate smeared into the carpet. I have to chisel the chocolate off the carpet and wash the carpet where the chocolate was. I then proceed to finish vacuuming. I turn my head to the living room and see grandma has given my kids a full tray of brownies and there are brownie crumbs everywhere, are you kidding me? I sometimes think she is laughing her head off inside, messing with me but I can't tell because I look at her and she has a straight face. I'm not happy! I don't say anything to avoid a fight, especially in front of the kids but I'm burning up inside. They say that nothing triggers you anymore when you are enlightened. If this is the case then I have a lot of work to do because my mom is the trigger Amy master. I proceed to vacuum all around the end tables. I move couches and move another lazy boy chair and vacuum. I'm on a serious mission. I then begin to wash floors. I'm seriously getting tired. I clean the fireplace. I shake the rugs in the bathroom. I clean as best as I can without moving large heavy pieces of furniture. I'm finished and I see another ant! I know it's going to take some time to get rid of them and there might be other secret messes that I'll have to clean up. Overall, the problem seems to be under control.
Grandma does have lovable qualities, so don't get me wrong. Honestly, I learned how to clean from her. Nobody was more anally clean than her when I grew up. She taught me that when washing the floors, sweep first. Then pull the mop back, never swish it back and forth. I used to do chores for money when I was younger and one of them was cleaning. She would inspect my job 3 or 4 times making me go back and clean areas I forgot or didn't do a good enough job on before she would pay me. She was tough. She had high standards. So what has changed? She is very sick. She has edema, crohn's disease, a movement disorder similar to Parkinson's but different called Chorea and regular kidney stones. She also has no large intestine, gall bladder, uterus and has a colectomy bag where her small intestine is connected to a bag for her to poop. She had carpal tunnel surgery and many others that I can't remember. Her hands hurt and it's not as easy for her to clean like how she used to. She is too weak to move the refrigerator or stove. When she eats, her hands hurt, food falls out of them all the time because she has lost dexterity in them. I stay patient with her and communicate the things I found that could have been causing the problems. I request for her to eat in the kitchen to contain the problem. She sees how hard I worked to fix the ant problem and says thank you and I love you. She also knows how to hit the soft spots too. I love you mom, I wish you didn't hurt so much. For now, I'm just glad that most of the ants are gone. Peace out beautiful people!
Ouch you guys! The other day I was walking from my office to my son's bedroom in the dark and I forgot that I didn't completely push all his legos to the side of the room. Needless to say I stepped on legos! Lots of legos! As soon as I stepped on them I hopped off as fast as I could only for my other foot to step on legos. Waaaaaahhhhh. It took about 3 or 4 steps for me to move away from the lego hazard. There really needs to be one of those yellow hazard tapes, blocking off legos on the floor. Or better yet, take the pains to clean them every night and let them dump them out everyday. My son really loves legos. He can self entertain building lego forts with Halo characters, guns, swords, doors, steps, etc. He really is my little engineer and I'm fascinated with his imagination. I ask him about his lego projects and he tells me elaborate stories filled with excitement. I think I need to make a legoland visit.
I am resting again today. I did eat lunch but I'll skip eating the rest of the day so that I can help my body heal faster. I'm still coughing, a lot. I can't wait to be well. I feel lethargic and worst of all it took me some time to fall asleep last night because I was having a coughing fit. I blew my nose, trying to get any mucus out but the post nasal drip is so irritating on the back of my throat. I took those antibiotics and I haven't taken drugs in 10 years and now I'm sicker than I've been in a long time. I am reminded by how blessed I am overall to have good health. I'm staying away from pharmaceuticals unless I'm dying in the future. This has been the only time that I've been sick in a long time and it really takes you out of work, out of working out, feeling lethargic and irritated with a nagging cough. I have another coughing fit in the morning and then it seems to simmer down, at least for now.
I meditate outside in a sweatshirt and jeans. I think of yoga choreography. I think about yoga choreography all the time. I noticed it significantly as I meditate. I think about my students and their next steps and how I can get them there. I've been teaching just under two years and I feel myself moving from a beginning teacher to a more intermediate teacher. I'm excited to do more and really help advance people. What's exciting for me is that I'm starting to see in people's bodies where they need to open up more. Developing this eye just takes time and really understanding a pose. Then you get to watch all different body types try and see that people struggle differently depending on their daily repetitive movements.
Last night I watched some videos on non-violent communication on youtube. One thing they say is that praise is violent communication. There's so much to learn about non-violent communication and it is a skill to really refine and it takes practice to get out of old unhealthy patterns. Instead of praise, it's better to clearly say what you liked, what un-met need it filled and express gratitude. This gives a person more specific feedback instead of "you're awesome". Tony Robbins says that almost everything is in your life because of your ability to communicate. This just encourages me to improve my communication skills. I didn't grow up in a house with non-violent communicators. Actually the communication was really violent and damaging. I don't blame anyone for it. I know my parents were doing the best they knew how and they were doing what they learned from their parents. That's why it is important for us to learn about ourselves so that we can heal wounds instead of passing them on generation to generation. Our children will benefit from our self study. Good luck everyone and much love!
This morning I wake up and I somehow manage to get un-cooperating kids to school. I let them take a week off while they were sick with the flu and they had another week of rest with Spring Break. Needless to say, I try to get them to bed early and struggle. I get them in bed with the lights off and I hear them get up to go pee, then they want a snack, then they are ready to sleep but they need their stuffed animals. Meanwhile, I'm still sick and coughing my head off, begging them to sleep. I have to threaten spanking because nothing is working. I lay in bed coughing and I have to tell them no talking like a million times. As I say this, I also listen. They are giggling, laughing and filled with joy. This is when a mom's job is tough because I love their happiness and I don't want to stop it but at the same time they need to go back to school. I need time alone to concentrate and work, plus I really need to rest so that I can get over this sickness faster. Finally they sleep, they are like angels in bed and they are the most beautiful things that I have ever seen. Now I feel guilty for yelling at them to sleep.
I get them up and my son cries the whole way to school and refuses to get dressed. I know he's not really upset, he is just playing mommy because I'm a damn softy. I don't like being the softy! Anyway, I manage to get him into the school and he is fine. Then I race home to get my daughter, thank god my mom is there or it would be really difficult to get them both up so early at the same time. She isn't so difficult but she is slow. I drop her off and go home. OMG, quiet bliss!!!!!!!! I'm in heaven, I can get done what I need to do. I see some benefits to home schooling but as a single mom, it's just not going to happen. I still have to try to work and they are on youtube all day. I honestly think they are better off in school with other kids right now.
I read all about disease and Natural Hygiene all over again. I forgot so much. After I got parasites I opt'ed to take antibiotics to kill the parasites instead of doing a longer fast. Honestly I just didn't want to fast, it's challenging and I didn't want to take the time off. Well, I take the antibiotics and then get sick for almost 3 weeks and have to take the time off anyway. Waaaaahhhhh! It's the sickest I've been in approximately 10 years. I had/have a nasty cough that is relentless. As I'm reading all about disease, the biggest thing I keep reading is fasting and how I would get better 2 to 3 times faster than when eating. I did have a smoothie in the morning but then as I'm reading, I decide to go back to my roots with Natural Hygiene and fast the rest of the day. I continue to cough, blow my nose and a lot of mucus comes out. I cough up mucus. According to Natural Hygiene this is just my bodies preferred way to get rid of toxins. Mucus encapsulates toxins to export them out of the body. Disease is really an eliminative process. The body creates a crisis in response to a body's need to free itself of toxic matters and repair damages. Consequently, the body withdraws energy from normal body activities and redirects them to the healing crisis. When you stop digesting food that nerve energy is redirected to the parts of the body that need healing. Nothing but the body heals the body. So get out of the way, re-establish conditions of health and stop polluting.
I go outside to meditate after 4 hours of reading because I read so much that it's not sinking in anymore without a break. I drink a ton of water and turn away from the sun but still in the sun. I close my eyes and bliss out. My nagging cough is really getting to me, especially as I lay back. I hear someone cutting the bushes in the distance and they finally stop. Nothing sounds better than nature. I hear a lot of birds fly by. I wish I knew how they all sounded so that I could recognize their song. They are beautiful. The cough gets worse so I lay in the fetal position to try to get relief. I cough and cough and cough and then I cough up a piece of undigested corn! What the heck! I think that it got caught in my sinuses when I was coughing and eating at the same time and somehow inhaled it into my sinus cavity. I can't help but to feel like the fact that this happens when I'm in silence and coughing and finally going back to my root beliefs with Natural Hygiene that this is God telling me to get back on track. Don't loose sight of Natural Hygiene. When you are sick fast. Even if you do a couple short fasts, intermittent fasting or fasting one day a week. And rest!
I consider myself a pretty advanced yogi and I hate taking time off to rest. In order to heal the fastest, Natural Hygiene recommends resting so that all nerve energy is focused on healing the body. I have a hard time with the rest part but after being sick for so long, I finally submit. I take 3 days off here, 2 days off there and rest as much as I can. I even took a 30 minute nap today which I never do. The combination of the sun, resting, fresh air, clean distilled water and fasting helped be cough up that piece of corn right away. I do feel better but the post nasal drip is still there. I'm dying to workout as I skipped yesterday but there is a part of me that is saying, stick to your roots with Natural Hygiene and rest and recover faster. Waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!!!!!! I really mean it, waaaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh! Most people would love this idea, but not me.
I really love athletics so much. I love what I've been able to do with my body. I love that I have a few other teachers in my yoga teacher training who are 10 years older than me and kicking my ass at 50 plus! It really makes me think that we haven't even begun to tap into our potential. As I'm meditating I have visions of being a professional athlete. Is this crazy? Do you ever have those fantasies of being a super star of some kind. I do. I believe it. I believe it because when I was super unfocused and not training properly I was still pretty good in the past when I was doing triathalons, running, dancing, aerobics, actually almost all the sports that I tried. Somehow that athletic gene is in me. I wonder what would happen now that I am super clear minded, clean and undistracted. Believe me, I was distracted so much in the past. I still am to some extent but not as much as I have been in the past. I've had some people ask me if I would do a duathlon or say that I can travel around the world with one sport. My yoga teacher talks about how we can do yoga until our 90's. These seeds have got me wondering. I am reminded of my acting improv days and remember one of the most important rules when on stage. "Yes, And..." Why not say, yes and... and see what happens? The sky is the limit and we are the biggest blocks in our own way. What happens if we get out of the way and believe? I'm starting to believe. I hope you do too. From my heart to yours, kick some ass in this world, however you are blessed. The world needs your inspiration. You are capable of so much. I also believe in you, besos!
I continue on with my meditations, yay! It's seriously becoming one of the best parts of my day when I make time for it. The key is just doing it, consistently. As I start meditating I hear my neighbors dogs barking. I think to myself, why do people think it's ok to leave their dogs outside for long periods of time barking? 5 minutes, ok, I can understand but long periods is just rude. It immediately takes me back to when I lived in Ecuador. They let dogs run wild there even though they go back to the same families. If your dog kills anyone's chickens then they will poison your dog. I lived in the Yambararra Alto valley in Vilcabamba Ecuador and people let their dogs bark all day and night. You could hear the dogs barking to each other and because we were in a valley it seemed like you could hear them all. My ex-husband was training 2 dogs there that he planned to sell and one of them went into heat. Let me tell you, it's crazy what a dog in heat will do to get to the boy dogs and visa versa. Every male dog showed up at our fence, dug holes under the fence, made a hole right in the middle of the fence, etc. The female that we were training would push her but up against the wire door so the boy dogs could get access. Needless to say, we hardly left the house while she was in heat. He was training high end dogs and the last thing we needed was for one to mate with a stray dog. I remember having dogs in Ecuador was miserable because you really had to watch them or they would get poisoned. There would always be one dog in town that would like to run up to you and possibly start a fight with your dog so you really didn't want them to leave the yard either. Anyway, when I started meditation and heard the neighbor dog bark it took me back to Ecuador.
Last night I have my kids, who are the best sweetest kids in the world, btw. Seriously they are...we all snuggle up in grandma's bed and watch a Russian (I think) movie called I Am Dragon. My kids love fantasy action movies. They are over cartoons. I tell them this is too scary and let's watch something else and they refuse. Their eyes are glued to this Russian movie that I have to read the subtitles for. If I stop reading then my daughter says, "mommy, what are they saying?". They are scared and recognize basic emotions, like if someone is hurt or sad or if they are in love. There is a scene where the boy kisses the girl and my four year old throws his hands over his eyes and says, "ahhhh, they are kissing" and buries his head in my arms. I just giggle at all their reactions as they are entertained. One kid curls up under one arm and my other kid curls up under the other arm and they are happy the whole movie. My daughter and son both kiss me on the cheek and say I'm the best mommy ever. Ok, flattery works sometimes:) They are the best and I have to admit, the movie was really good too. It's something that I never would have picked out for myself but watching these fantasy movies is sparking my imagination.
Towards the end of my meditation, I see a squirrel crawl up my screened in porch. I'm reminded of how they were in the attic. The peaceful vegan in me turns angry and I run to scare it away. I like squirrels but only when they are away from my house! Peace out for now. I still have a residual cough that is just nagging me. I feel fine other than that. My little girl has the same cough and I keep them home from school one last day to get better. They wake up late and I wonder how I'm going to get them to bed on time. I think I'll have to take them to the park today:)
The flu season is here and it has taken me out. I think there are a few reasons why I caught it after not being sick for almost 10 years. Getting sick has been humbling and reminds be of my humanity. We are not immune to everything. There are two simple reasons why I think I got sick. I took a lot of antibiotics for the first time in about 10 years to get rid of parasites from overseas travels. I took Albendozole for round worms and Flagyl for blastocystis hominis. One route of therapy for the parasites that I didn't try but wish I did was a strong herbal treatment. If for any reason I get parasites again, I really hope I don't, then I'll try the herbal route. I didn't have any symptoms of parasites and I have a feeling they were living off me for years back when I was in Ecuador 5 years ago. I'm honestly not sure. 3 years ago, I also went on a cruise around the world and it's possible I was exposed then. To be honest, I really think it was from Ecuador. We lived in a very cheap Ecuadorian style house and drank from the tap and used a Steri Pen to sterilize the water. I was tested for parasites back then and it said I was positive for them. I ate some papaya seed blend and another seven anti-parasite seed blend and thought the problem was over and didn't follow up since I had no symptoms.
Another reason why I think I got sick was simply being exposed to the virus after a lowered immune system from all the antibiotics. I've been going back and forth to the hospital for my mom regularly since she moved in back in January. She was just recently there for 3 days for a kidney stone surgery. There was a guy right next to her that was really sick and highly contagious. They ended up moving him to a different ward the next day. Anyway, shortly after seeing my mom at the hospital, my son got sick, then my daughter, me and my ex-husband. We were sick for a long time too it seems. It was definitely longer than 10 days. My symptoms started with a really bad fever that seemed to last about 4+ days. I was sweating through my shirts at night. It was awful. After that I was achy, lethargic and I had a really bad cough. There was constant post nasal drip running down the back of my throat. I was blowing my nose quite often and coughing up phlegm. I would sit out in the sun, sleep extra, make green juices, eat fruit but it wasn't letting up. I simply had to ride it out. I'm on the tail end of the flu now but it's still lingering.
I went outside to meditate in the sun. I love my meditation practice and only wish I could be more consistent. The warm sun on my skin does feel healing. I had on long pants and a long sleeve shirt so I pulled up my sleeves and shirt a little to get sun on my stomach. There is something so liberating about being outside in nature. I could hear the birds chirping, the sun feels warm and I love the silence. I crave the quiet actually. I just had the sidewalks pressure washed and they look amazing, like brand new concrete. I have to admit that I'm really impressed. I've been doing things to fix up my house so that we all can enjoy it. I am usually the last person to spend money on myself but I feel like having a pleasant house is important for happiness.
I read this book, the life-changing magic of tidying up and it's been amazing. I like the orderliness. I like the neat. At first it was hard to let go of so many things because I was emotionally attached to them because they were my dad's. Letting go feels like a re-birth. I still have a lot further to go on the house and de-cluttering but everyday, I chip away. As I'm getting things organized, I feel my time freeing up so I can get back to my purpose whatever that may be. Right now, it has been writing. I decided not to move because my mom has been sick and stay in the house and make it nice. My mom moved in after my dad went into a home and her health is poor too. She moved her whole house from The Villages into my house and my house turned into clutter. I thought I would want to keep so much more than I do. Letting go has been creating a lightness in my life where before it felt heavy.
Dealing with my parents illness has been hard on me. There are times when I think I can be so strong and other times where I just feel a tremendous amount of sadness. My dad is never coming home. My mom is making poor food choices everyday and I have to let go and let her live her life. An example is that she was at the hospital getting the kidney stone surgery and her recovery drink was ginger ale. All the soda pop is a contributing cause to kidney stones in the first place, ugh. She thinks she'll die in comfort but all I see is her suffering in a lot of pain everyday. It's an addiction and I have to let go. It's just hard because I love my parents, and I think of how happy things could have been. They have a great pension and can live very comfortably the rest of their lives but instead they are sick. Anyway, somehow cleaning my house is like cleaning my mind and letting go of what will no longer be the same.
Since I've been sick with the flu, I've taken a lot of days off of working out to rest and recover. This sedentariness has also affected my mood. I honestly can't wait until I'm feeling better and when I can start really working out again without a scratchy phlegmy cough anymore. It feels good to write again. Much love to you all!